Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club

Some free advice from an uptown girl — if you're going to spend an hour getting to Brooklyn, do the most Brooklyn thing possible when you get there. Also — don't send a dead biscuit to the kitchen. 

Saturday, I went to the Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club in Gowanus, Brooklyn, a massive, 17,000-square-foot space (holy crap, that's 40 of my apartments) with 10 full-sized shuffleboard courts, two large bars and a dozen private "cabanas" for reserved parties. Oh, did I mention it's themed like a Florida retirement community?

Located in an unassuming brick building, the Royal Palms is kind of like wandering into Jerry's parent's condo on Seinfeld (that's a good thing, in case anyone's wondering). The warehouse-sized space is filled with palm trees, bingo boards, glowing pink lanterns and patrons in Hawaiian shirts. Even the bathrooms are kitschy and gloriously papered in a flamingo print. Royal Palms is apparently a hub for hipsters and celebrities alike — my husband saw Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka last time he was there.

While my group of friends didn't end up playing shuffleboard (it requires a reservation beforehand — now we know!), we did enjoy some larger-than-life Connect Four with our local craft beers.

The best thing about Royal Palms, in my opinion, is that because it's so large, you're guaranteed to have space to yourself, which is a coveted and rare find in New York City. This is not some midtown bar where you're fighting for a ledge by the bathroom to put down your beer while getting bumped every few seconds by passersby. Even if everyone and their hot husband (I'm looking at you, Burtka) knows about it, Royal Palms can hold hundreds of us. 

Overall, it was as solid way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Next time I head back, I want to test my skills on the shuffleboard courts and check out the noms — a live-in food truck in one corner of the warehouse. It's just so darn BROOKLYN.